Forgiveness Can Be Effortless

I’m willing to bet that many of you may disagree with that statement in the header of this email. 

Most of us hold grievances so severe that the thought of ever forgiving the trespasser feels like we would be letting them off the hook. 

Even still, it seems that if we were to try to forgive them for the above grievances, that it would seem more like an insurmountable task - one not even worthy of effort given the events that transpired. 

So why is forgiveness important?

And why is it that every major spiritual tradition teaches the importance of forgiveness?

And what does forgiveness look and feel like anyway?

And why the hell is Dr. Mike talking about it, and not talking about my back? 

It is easy to think that with all of the severe hurt in our lives that there is no way forgiving should be easy. 

But does thinking that forgiveness is difficult or dismissing the idea of forgiveness altogether really serve us?

If forgiveness is work, then it is not true forgiveness. This is not to say that the path to realizing the truth about forgiveness is easy, it's simply saying that once you recognize some core principles about who we ALL are, then forgiveness will stem naturally and easily from that new knowledge.

Let's face it, we can sit with the past situations, and mull them over, and say to ourselves that we are forgiving that person, but in that moment, most of us make one key mistake.

And that’s understandable given the methods we are taught around forgiveness. 

Most of us are taught to hold an image of the situation in our mind, and "send the person love", or light, or positivity...

All the while sitting there and repeating the situation over again in our head, and most likely just getting more upset by it again.

The mistake in this situation is continuing to sit with the situation from the viewpoint that it is or was "bad" and that it needs to be forgiven. By viewing the situation as something that NEEDS to be forgiven, you are in that moment, viewing the situation from the perspective that you were wronged, and therefore reinforcing the belief in the situation being "bad".

The situation has transpired and is in the past. There is no changing that. The only change comes from within you and releasing the trespasser to a higher power.

On top of all of this, if and when we withhold forgiveness from someone in our lives we are also withholding it from ourselves. When you view a situation or a person as unforgivable - in that same moment, you are stating that you too are unforgivable. To feel that another is not worthy of forgiveness is an admittance that there are acts you have done or things you have said that are also unforgivable.

So in this instance - to give is to receiveTo recognize that all are worthy of forgiveness means that you too are worthy and deserving of it. 

So how do we know if we have truly forgiven someone?

When you can look at the person or situation and be at complete peace, you have forgiven them.

How many of you reading this can say that you are at complete peace with the grievances that you hold in your life?

If you still consider them to be grievances, and are thinking or talking about them... 

even after possibly taking a forgiveness seminar, 

or reading a forgiveness book, 

or sitting through forgiveness meditations, 

but hey are still weighing on you emotionally enough to think and talk about?

Then you have not truly forgiven that person.

Speaking of weight, who reading this thinks that unforgiven grievances could possibly affect how your body feels physically?

When you hold onto a grievance, no matter how small, and re-live it through your thoughts -your subconscious mind does not recognize that the situation is not currently happening. 

That means that your body will respond in the same way it did when the initial trespass took place, with a contraction of your muscles and blood vessels, a quickening of the heart, and a shortening of the breath.

Also known as the fight or flight stress response. This is because the subconscious mind runs your autonomic nervous system - which in turn controls your involuntary bodily processes.

So now it should be clear how forgiveness, or a lack thereof, affects your body, and why a chiropractor would talk about it. ;)

The circle is complete.

So how can true forgiveness be accomplished?

Here’s where the post becomes more spiritually oriented. And in my humble opinion, most relevant.

True forgiveness happens at the level of spirit.

If you don’t believe you have a spirit, let me ask you one simple question.

As you read this post quietly in your mind
what is the voice that you hear inside without using your physical ears? 

What is the voice that you are speaking with inside to read this? 

And where did that little voice come from?

Still with me? 

When forgiveness is kept at the level of the mind, it is not deep enough to have a profound and lasting effect on our lives.

Simply saying and thinking that you forgive someone, because you have been told it is a wise thing to do, but not truly embodying forgiveness, will leave you exactly where you started - With a grievance in your mind and subsequently your body.

True forgiveness happens when we see beyond our physical experienceto the truth about the depth of our Universal existence, and recognize that everything happening on this worldly plane is not our truest selves.

This is not to say that physical existence is not real. It is simply stating that at our core, our spirit, we are beings of love, who are all worthy of love and forgiveness.

In fact, being truly of love, and recognizing that simple fact within yourself and everyone else, means that there is truly nothing to forgive.

Their actions, no matter how heinous in this world, did not and do not come from their true loving nature.

Those actions come from a twisted and distorted, psychologically ill viewpoint, that our world teaches and perpetuates through televised violence and wars cast in the name of so called religions.

And guess what, all of those things are occurring because of a lack of true forgiveness in the world.

We attack when we feel that we have been or can be attacked.

But nothing can attack the love that lives inside of all of us. It is eternal, and it will return to wherever it came from when our physical bodies cease to exist.

I was speaking with a client recently about forgiveness recently and the block that came up was the effort she was having in "sending the person love." That’s what she had been taught to do as an act of forgiveness. 

The shift happened when I coached her through the truth that there is no need to try to send that person love. The forgiveness happens with ease by recognizing that the "perceived trespasser", at their core, is already a being of love who is simply lost and ill psychologically. 

When someone is psychologically ill, you do not condemn them in order to teach them a lesson, you love them and show them compassion. 

Those who are psychologically ill and acting from that place do not need you to send love to them. They are as equal parts love as you are. They may not realize that about themselves, and their actions may not reflect it, but that does not change the simple fact.

I once heard a quote. "You will know the truth because it will not sound or feel like anything you have ever learned before."

The shift comes when we wake up to the fact that we are all made of the same thing - LOVE. This is where the blocks and disbeliefs come in - mostly because of what we have been taught about ourselves and the world.

This is not the standard teaching of the world. We’re taught that it’s eye for eye and dog eat dog. And that mentality has put us in this exact predicament.

When you look out to the world, and witness the dominant mindset, you can see that love and forgiveness is not the focus.

That is not to say the world is devoid of it, it simply has lost sight of its true essence and it will not be reminded of it fully until each one of us wakes up to it and extends it to our fellow humans. 

Each one reach one.

Can you imagine how FAST the world would change if we each embodied this simple truth and made it our mission share it with one person, having such an affect on them, that they in turn made it their mission also?

The growth would be exponential.

That’s power.

The world needs true forgiveness. We all need it. Without it we will continue to suffer lives of mental and physical pain. We forgive in order to transcend and rise above so that we can view the world from a higher stand point - a mountain of love, if you will.